Tuesday, March 8, 2011

that keeps me so off balance

Here are some photos I took about a week before I left home in September. I never posted this set because I wasn't a fan--and it was a jeans-and-tshirt look. I make it no secret that I hate jeans, but sometimes they're necessary. So yeah, I own a pair or two, but it's been about three months since I've worn them! They're just uncomfortable, and to be completely honest, I don't like the way they look on me. I'd rather have a dress, thanks!

On your own website, it's so easy to completely control the image you put out. You can bet your bottom dollar that I pick through my photos and take out a minimum of two thirds of them, a generous portion because of how I don't like how I appear. Sure, I want to present my best self to the public; what's wrong with that? But maybe there is something wrong if I consistently avoid something (such as pants)--maybe I am, to an extent, being dishonest with my readers. I don't love my shape the way I ought, and I avoid showing off my legs because I can't stand what I look like. I have a screwed-up self image, just like most girls I know. It's not overpowering, but I can't help but let it affect me. Of course I love myself, but at the same time, I often wish myself different.

Does this make any sense? I've tried to put this into a post before but I'm not sure it comes out very coherent. Make of it what you will. I'm not looking for compliments or reassurances; I just wanted to put this in writing to sort out my thoughts a little more--and maybe you can relate and understand a bit! I hope to someday be completely happy with the way I am, but in the meantime, I'm a work in progress. Aren't we all?

top / handmade | jeans / jcpenney | boots / lulu's


  1. You've hit on an interesting note: not all fashions flatter all figures, and fashion trends don't seem to follow body types. So it's a bit of a catch 22, especially when aesthetics and self image come into play.

    Thankfully, instead of wearing jeans and hating yourself in them, you make us marvel over your semi-retro sense of playful and bold pairings... and we'd never know the difference.

    I can't wait for the fashion industry to realize that stick figures aren't realistic. Perhaps your work can encourage the rest of us that jeans don't have to be the wardrobe staple that it is!

  2. Last line:
    * wardrobe staple that it is = wardrobe staple that they are

  3. I would definitely take a dress over jeans any day

  4. I don't think flared jeans flatter you? I think you may possibly be wearing the wrong jeans for your figure. The cut is really foreshortening your legs, and you have such cute ankles.

    I think maybe a skinny VERY dark jean with cool boots could really work on you. Like, jeans but really urban looking, plus tunic-y something, maybe.

    Also I have no idea what that thingy is in the last pic, but it's cool.

  5. You should watch this video. it is called the beheld and is a wonderful, beautiful, artistic message about self- esteem...it helped me a lot.

  6. woops! here is the video! http://vimeo.com/17039126

  7. I think you are beautiful, no matter what you wear. But we do all have the things that we are uncomfortable wearing, and the things we feel amazing in. There's nothing wrong with avoiding jeans if they don't make you feel good!

  8. I know how that goes. I'm a dancer, and as you know most dancers are insanely skinny. But I am not. I'm just a little over weight actually. So when I go to class, I always feel so down about it because I'm constantly comparing myself to the other girls. So hopefully someday we'll both be able to love ourselves for who we are.

  9. I think the hardest part is simple acceptance of who we are and how we are. Why can't we just accept our curves--or for others, their lack of them? If we are doing the best we can to take care of ourselves, we should just feel free to say "This is how I am."
    Sometimes it is easier to accept the way we are/look. When I was eight months pregnant, I finally felt confident wearing a swimsuit. Some days, depending on what I'm doing or where I'm going, I feel quite comfortable in my skin. Other times, I need a boost to bring off that feeling. Nothing wrong with choosing an outfit that will reflect that need.
    We all know that beauty really comes from our inner selves. If we accept and embrace the way we are, then that inner attitude will shine forth. And seriously, that is what you already do, by choosing the clothes that you love and feel happy in wearing. If it isn't jeans, that's all right. You develop your own style by those choices, and thus show the world your unique personality. ;^)

  10. P.S. I needed a little assistance to figure out just where you were when you took the photos! Everything is so white still, it was nice to see a flash of green. Great job!

  11. I think you look adorable in heans (coming from the girl who used to be UPC and only allowed to wear skirts...now I love me some Arizona jeans!)

    Anyway, I know what you mean...I sort through all my photos and discard the vast majority and drastically crop the rest. I like to think that I'm nicely shaped and fit but I don't come close to fitting a lot of clothes right or looking anything like the supposed 'perfect size and shape'.

    Anyway, I think you're always adorable! :)


I love hearing from people! Feel free to leave thoughts, questions, etc. Thanks, dolls!